Buyer Beware!

Of V Water!

I was given a bottle of this stuff free in Glasgow Central Train Station today, Lemon & Lime flavour. I wasn’t really listening to the dudes sales pitch, I just wanted to get my free shit and go, but from what I dimly recall it was some shenanigans about “all natural ingredients, no sugar” yap yap yap. None of that shit is really all that important to me, the consumer, it’s sort of side benefit to a product if it’s good in the primary aspect in which it’s supposed to be good in, and for a flavoured beverage that aspect should be taste.

Allow me to describe the taste of Lemon & Lime V Water: If you take a bottle and fill it with something like Coke or orange juice, or lemonade, or anything that’s not water basically, then you later use that same bottle, once emptied, as a water bottle, when you then drink the water from that bottle, even if you gave it a good clean or rinse out, it has this sort of unpleasant faint taste of the flavoured drink you had in there before, get what I mean? That’s what Lemon & Lime V Water tastes like to me. Like the bottle previously held a proper Lemon & Lime drink, then they emptied it out and added water and what you’re left with is this ghastly Lemon & Lime unpleasantness.

Not only that, but the stuff isn’t even refreshing like plain old water it, it leaves the mouth with the same dried out nastiness carbonated drinks leave you with. Nasty tasting and not refreshing, winning combination! But, hey! at least its got minerals and natural shit in it!

Anyhoo, the bottle had details of a holiday you could win if you told them what you thought of V Water, not really interested in the holiday, but I thought I’d like to tell them what I thought of V Water. After several demographic questions it asked me what I liked about V Water, since I don’t really like anything about it I checked the ‘Other’ box and moved on, it then wanted clarification on ‘Other’ so I typed “I don’t Like V Water, it then asked me this:

Now my instant feeling was “none actually” but that wasn’t an option and it wouldn’t let me skip as an answer is required. So I went with ‘Is modern’ as that’s the closest thing to the truth on there. I then got to this bit:

And it became clear that these people don’t want to hear anything bad about their product. They let me choose near the start whether I liked the taste to which I answered ‘dislike a bit’ (as I thought a lot was a bit harsh) but after that it seems the only options are for people who liked it, and not people who just want to tell them their product is shitty. The only appropriate answer to this question is “When I’m given it for free at train stations” but that’s not fucking on there is it!?

After that I pretty much lost interest as it became apparent that there was no point where I would be allowed to enter in my story about used bottles It’s really no wonder to me now why there is so much shit on the market, if you have enough money behind your shitty product for the start you can get it out there as long as you don’t let anyone tell you it’s shitty when you’re researching it.

Free wasn’t an option on the expected price bit either. Bastards.

freedoms_stain, steering clear of so-called “market research”, out.